Book Review: Connected Parenting by Jennifer Kolari
As a therapist, I often recommend resources that can enhance the parenting experience and foster healthier relationships between parents and children. One such resource is “Connected Parenting” by Jennifer Kolari, a compelling guide that merges empathy with effective discipline strategies.
Themes
Kolari’s book revolves around the central theme of connection. She posits that establishing a strong emotional bond with our children lays the groundwork for positive behavior and effective communication. By focusing on connection rather than control, parents can create an environment where children feel safe, understood, and more likely to respond positively to guidance.
Another prominent theme is the idea of emotional intelligence. Kolari emphasizes the importance of understanding one’s own emotions as well as the feelings of children. This awareness allows parents to respond to challenging behaviors not with frustration but with curiosity and understanding, promoting emotional resilience in both the parent and the child.
Strategies
“Connected Parenting” introduces several practical strategies that can be easily integrated into daily life. Here are a few key approaches highlighted in the book:
1. The ‘Connect Before You Correct’ Principle:
Kolari advocates for engaging children emotionally before addressing misbehavior. This could mean taking a moment to acknowledge their feelings or offering a hug before discussing rules or consequences. This step is crucial in redirecting behavior effectively without damaging the parent-child bond.
2. Use of Playfulness:
Incorporating play into parenting can transform difficult moments into opportunities for connection. Kolari encourages parents to use humor, games, and light-heartedness to diffuse tension and encourage cooperation.
3. Mindful Communication:
The book emphasizes the importance of active listening and validating children’s feelings. By making the effort to truly understand a child’s perspective, parents can foster openness and encourage children to share their thoughts and emotions.
4. Modeling Behavior:
Kolari stresses that parents serve as role models for their children. Demonstrating emotional regulation and healthy coping strategies can significantly influence how children learn to handle their emotions.
5. Setting Boundaries with Love:
While connection is key, Kolari also underscores the importance of maintaining clear boundaries. She guides parents on how to enforce rules in a compassionate manner, ensuring that discipline is delivered in the context of love and understanding.
Recommendation:
“Connected Parenting” is a must-read for parents seeking to deepen their connection with their children while fostering a respectful and cooperative environment. Its practical advice, grounded in a compassionate approach, can be a transformative tool for families.
As a reminder to my clients, I have a copy of this book available in my office if you wish to borrow it. It can serve as a valuable resource in your parenting journey and provide insights that resonate with both you and your child.
